I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
