But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
