the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize