So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
my poor anus
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
