Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
