You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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