we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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