Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
