Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize