Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
