those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
