So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
