just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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