He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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