WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Ketchup is God's man juice
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
