similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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