I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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