oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
