She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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