Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
