I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
