I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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