Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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