called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
