pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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