People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
