i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
