Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
