that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
