Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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