my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i now understand why vodka
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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