ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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