I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
