Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
