So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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