His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Houston, we have a squirter
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
