Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
