I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
