he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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