dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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