Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
