turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize