That's intense
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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