Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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