ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
