Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
