if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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