guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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