it was like his penis was on wheels.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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