god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
