So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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