"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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