I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
