In the future we'll all be gay
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
