I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
