i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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