is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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