she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
