my soul wont recognize me after tonight
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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