glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
