I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize